Sean Avery: Ranger, Agitator, Lover of Prostitutes

So, according to an article in the NY Daily News, everyone's favorite dickwad Sean Avery's name and cell phone number were found in Manhattan madam Kristin Davis' little black book. Assuming that these allegations are of course true, let's first look at the gal running the show:

Holy crap. I didn't think Avery would be going after your run-of-the-mill, corner of 7th-and-Vine, STD-laden hookers. I thought he might go after the more classy hookers, like the ones in the Emperors Club or even the kind hired by Heidi Fleiss. I guess he couldn't afford them with the crappy $1.9M salary the arbitrator gave him last summer. But hey, don't worry, Sean. Those nasty genital warts you probably contracted from your Maison de L'Amour mistress will be worth it next year when you can afford the grade-A whores 'cause you're making Darcy Tucker money.

So kids, the moral of the story is: money can buy love. Hot supermodel and actress girlfriends will come and go, but there will always be a dirty hooker there to love and care for you.

For $500 an hour, that is.