Lack of Updates...It's Not Like Anyone Reads This Crap Anyway

When we last met here on The Rangers Recap, our boys in blue were getting ready to meet the Devils in the Eastern Conference Quaterfinals. Since then, they've made In-Law Lover Brodeur and the Devils offense their bitch, with 4-1 and 2-1 wins in "The Rock."

I don't know what my favorite part of Games 1 and 2 was. Was it Callahan's game-winning short-handed goal off of a pitiful mistake by Brodeur? Was it Sean Avery's insurance goal in Game 1? Was it Sean Avery's game-winning goal in Game 2? Was it Scott Gomez's 3-assist performance amidst boos from his former fans in Game 1? Was it hearing fans in Jersey chant "MAAAAAARRRRRRRTYYYY MAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRTYYYY"? Was it Scott Gomez getting into it with Jamie Langenbrunner, giving him a kissing motion, mocking him, and apparently telling him "Keep drinking your Kool-Aid?" It all adds up to a great start to the series.

But, the Blueshirts still need two more wins to lock up this series. Lucky for us, they're back in the Garden for Games 3 and 4. Getting 2 out of 2 at home would be awesome, but I don't expect the Devils to go down so easily. They're a pretty good club, no matter how many times we've beaten them. I'll actually get to see the whole game tomorrow...I'm pumped.

By the way, I hope you've been watching the other series as well. There's been some really exciting games. It's sure to be another awesome spring.

Let's Go Rangers!

It's That Time Again: Rangers @ Devils Game 1

It's that time of year again, folks. It's that time of year where we get to see hockey on TV every night. It's that time of year where we see guys go all-out every night. It's that time of year where legends are made. And, since the lockout, it's been the time of year where we get to once again see the Blueshirts suit up for a playoff run.

2006 saw the Rangers crash and burn after surprisingly holding the Atlantic Division lead for most of the year. As everyone remembers, we lost to this year's first round opponent, the Devils, in a 4 game sweep in which we saw Jagr injure his shoulder.

2007 was the most exciting year for the Rangers ever since that Cinderella 1997 playoff run. Although they at one point sat at 12th in the Eastern Conference, they roared back after the All-Star break. After sweeping the Thrashers out of the first round, something no one expected, they gave Buffalo a damn good run for their money.

This year? Well, obviously, the natural expectation is a Conference Finals appearance. But we all know the playoffs are a whole new season and absolutely anything can happen. I'm excited for another playoff season, no matter how the Rangers finish.

Interesting stat that just ran down SportCenter's ticker: the Rangers have lost 11 of their last 12 Game 1's (the outlier being in the Atlanta series). Keeping in mind that those Game 1's include the 1994 Devils and Canucks series, the 1995 Nordiques series, the 1996 Habs series, and the 1997 Panthers and Devils series. Remind me who won those series again?

Let's Go Rangers!

Meh, It's Still Kinda Like Home Ice Anyway (Updated with Full First Round Schedule)

Well, what can be said about today's SO loss to the Devils? Did it give them home-ice advantage, sure (even though 40-50% of their crowd is Ranger fans, anyway). Did it negate our psychological advantage over them, yeah I guess. Does it matter? I honestly don't know. The Rangers have rebounded from huge losses this year (the blown 5-goal lead at Montreal, for example) just fine. They'll put this one behind them and gear up for at least 4 games with the Devils.

How much has Jagr stepped up his play? A third period tying goal today was absolutely huge. Maybe he has been saving it for the playoffs after all. And after a shaky first period, the much-improved Henrik Lundqvist looked great. He absolutely stoned Zach Parise with his glove on the late Devils power play. That one made me jump out of my seat.

Here's the schedule for the first round (thanks to Steve Zipay). Gone are the days where teams would play 3 games in 4 days. Check it out:

Game 1 (in NJ) Wednesday, 7 p.m.
Game 2 (in NJ) Friday, 7 p.m.
Game 3 (in NY) Sunday, TBA
Game 4 (in NY) Wednesday, TBA
Game 5 (in NJ) Friday, TBA (if needed)
Game 6 (in NY) Sunday, TBA (if needed)
Game 7 (in NJ) Tuesday, TBA (if needed)

The Battle for Home Ice Advantage

The Rangers head over to Newark today to take on the Devils in a game that will determine who gets the #4 seed. Boston's loss today cemented the Rangers-Devils first round matchup. If the Rangers win in regulation today, they get home ice in the first round. Giving the Devils a point gives them home ice since they have the tiebreaker (# of wins).

How important is today's game? It depends. The Rangers have a pretty good fan section in New Jersey to support them. However, starting a playoff series in your own building provides a good adrenaline rush and excitement. Honestly, I think the Rangers can win the series if they start it in the Rock or the Garden.

Expect more boring hockey tomorrow and over the next couple weeks. The Rangers and Devils both play low offense, smothering defense hockey, so we could see a lot of 2-1's and 3-2's. Keep some energy drinks at the ready, or if the Rangers are losing, some booze.

It's that time of year again...seems like just yesterday I was watching them come back to beat Florida 5-2 on opening night. Hopefully I'll get to see most of this game. I'll be out of town again until a little after the 3pm start time. Let's beat the Devils in 60 minutes and make them come to the Garden for Game 1.

Let's Go Rangers!

A Dream Come True!

A story by Uncle Larry in the NY Post says that the salary cap is expected to go up to $56.3M next season, and if revenues keep increasing at the rate they are will be $68M in the 2010-11 season. In light of this, Rangers President/GM Glen Sather asked to write a guest piece for The Rangers Recap to share his thoughts on the rising cap. Enjoy!


Hello friends! It's me, your favorite GM/recluse, Glen Sather. How have you guys been? I've been a little too busy this year to talk to the New York media. Did you catch those nice interviews I did with the Edmonton papers, though? Man, I love Edmonton. Anyway, have you enjoyed the playoff team that I've once again built for you? And you people questioned me when I signed Gomez and Drury to $7M contracts.

When I heard that the salary cap that was going up again next year, I was quite excited. My good friend and associate Mr. Jim Dolan will again let me spend up to the cap ceiling next season. Of course, that extra $6M out of his pocket will be felt by you CableVision subscribers. But hey, that's your cross to bear so you can have a playoff team in MSG.

I know over the last few seasons I've kept my spending ways under control. I've even let some of these worthless kids that I've drafted take roster spots instead of those much more qualified free agent veterans. I really wanted that nice Michael Peca fellow this summer, but of course that whiny ass Renney wouldn't have it. He said that this Dubinsky kid could be our third line center. But he's got my $7M man Chris Drury there! What's up with that?!

But with the salary cap going up and up, I think it's time for me to wet my whistle in the free agent market this summer. It's too bad that Ottawa locked up Spezza and Heatley. They would have looked good in a Rangers jersey (although it'd be better if they were a few years older). Maybe I can snag Marian Hossa from that jerk Ray Shero in Pittsburgh. That's who I was originally trying to trade for in 2005. Who knew that he had a brother?

GREAT GOOGILY MOOGILY! I just realized that Bobby Holik is a free agent this summer! This day keeps getting better and better. Do you think $9M per year will be enough to bring him back to New York? Do you think I should give him a raise to $10M per? I still think he'd make a very nice first line center.

So many options for this summer...Jeremy Roenick, Joe Sakic, Mats Sundin, etc. are all available. How's a gal like me supposed to keep her purse closed when there's so many great, well-aged veterans on the market? Maybe I can bring Mark Messier back for a third stint. The options are endless! I'll keep you posted on my shopping spree this summer, Ranger fans. Until then, enjoy the playoffs. Who are we playing this year, the Predators or something?

Beaten by Dubliezawacsh. Again.

Well, what can be said about that game that isn't already being thought by Ranger fans everywhere? 48 saves by a backup goalie, Henrik letting in 3 weak goals in regulation and making just 1 shootout save, an astounding 0-8 on the PP against a team missing 12 regulars, and letting in a shorthanded goal on a 5-on-3. But hey, they got a point out of it. Everyone wins!

However, the Devils losing to the Flyers made up for our loss. We are just one point behind them in the standings, meaning if we win in regulation on Sunday, we take 4th place and home ice advantage over the Devils in the 1st round. So Tom, don't tell your boys to play defensive in the 3rd period on Sunday. Go for that regulation win. Don't play for the extra point, 'cause on April 9th it won't matter when you're playing in Newark for Game 1.

Playoff Bound!

They did it. The Rangers clinched their playoff birth tonight with a 3-0 win over the much-hated NY Islanders. Well, I guess we could call them the Bridgeport Sound Tigers, seeing as the Fishies missing around 29 of their normal guys. But hey, a win's a win, no matter how we take it.

Man, was that vintage Jaromir Jagr or what in the first period or what? It reminded me of 05/06 when he would score PPGs at will from that sweet spot above the right circle. And these weren't little wrist shots he let go; he gripped it and ripped it. Maybe he's been saving his "A" game for the playoffs? We'll see on April 9th.

How about Henrik Lundqvist? 25 saves for his league-leading 10th shutout. When was the last time the Rangers had a goalie with double-digit figures in the shutout column? Big points to anyone who can find that out for me.

Jagr (2G), Dubinsky (2A), Rozsival (2A), and Straka (1G, 1A) all had two points tonight for the Rangers. Those are the guys who we'll need to step up in the playoffs. I tell you what, that Dubinsky is something else. I never expected at the beginning of the year that he'd have this much impact on the Rangers. Kudos go out to Renney and Sather for not signing Michael Peca over the summer. Their trust in their home-grown kids has really paid huge dividends this year.

The last two games are all about playoff positioning. It's pretty much set now that another Rangers-Devils first round matchup is on the way. We're two points back on them after tonight's game. However, the Rangers don't totally control their own destiny. Winning their last two games is the best start. However, the Devils can't get more than one point in their last two, including the one against us, if we want that 4th spot. However, having to start the playoffs in Newark wouldn't be the end of the world (that is, if our guys don't get shot and robbed while walking into the arena). There'll be plenty of Ranger fans there to support the Blueshirts. I want to see Marty cry. I want vengeance for 2006.

But hey, the focus is on the Isles tomorrow at home. I smell a sweep.

Playing in That Shitty Home Away From Home -- Win and In

With just three games remaining in the regular season, the Rangers open up a home-and-home with the Islanders tonight in Nassau Coliseum. The Rangers are fighting for playoff positioning, and the Islanders are, well, writing the closing chapter of yet another year without a playoff series win (last time that happened: 1993 Patrick Division Finals. Yeah. It's been a while). However, with a win tonight or in any of their final 3 games, they're in the playoffs. So obviously, getting a win tonight is quite important.

While many may think, "Oh, it's just the Islanders. They're terrible and have a lot of injuries. Two easy wins LOL!" the Isles are much more dangerous than their record shows. The last two years they've played us especially hard. Ted Nolan's mantra of working hard every shift seems to baffle the Rangers. His 3 man forecheck destroys our soft defense. The reason that they don't blow us out every game is that their best players are Mike Comrie and Miro Satan. Watch out for those two hot shots!

But the Rangers play of late has been pretty strong. Yeah, they looked bad on Sunday against the Pens, but showed improved a bit in the OT win on Monday. And times like this are when guys like Henrik Lundqvist (who's been much, much better lately after his slump that lasted half the season) and Chris Drury (who scored the OT winner on Monday) step up and contribute big time.

If the Rangers want to win tonight, the defense has to hold strong and withstand the Isles forecheck. The offense simply needs to take advantage of the Fishies' rash of injuries. They're without I think half their defense corps and their starting goalie. That's just an invitation to run up the score, which they can most certainly do if pucks find their way to the net. A sweep of this home-and-home leading in to the regular season finale with the Devs would be huge.

On a side note, 2 of those 3 games last night didn't go as planned. Pittsburgh beat Philly in regulation. While it clinches the division title for the Pens (good for them; they get to hang a banner in their new arena. How special), it gave the Flyers zero points. The Canes whomped Tampa 6-2. While clinching a playoff spot would be nice, it's pretty wrapped up anyway. Besides, better to write your own destiny than let some redneck team do it for you. The killer game was the Devils and Bruins -- a 3-2 SO decision for the Devils. Not only did it put the Devs 4 points ahead of us (we do, however, have a game in hand), it gave the B's a point, putting them just 1 point behind us. Don't you love Gary Bettman's new NHL? With 3 point games, it's like everyone wins! Except the people close to you in the standings.

Let's Go Rangers!

Let's Go B's, Bolts, and Pens!

While the Rangers practice today in preparation for the back-to-back games with the Isles, there are some big games tonight around the East that can either hurt or help the Rangers' playoff positioning.

Tampa Bay @ Carolina: If the 'Canes lose in regulation, the Rangers clinch a playoff spot. While their playoff berth is pretty much guarantee (Rodent's BerthWatch has the Rangers at 99.5%), to see that "x" next to us in the standings would be nice.

Bruins @ Devils: Opinions on this game may vary. Some may want the Devs to prevail as to keep Boston from tying us in the standings, which they would do if they got a win. However, Jersey is two points ahead of us in the standings and have played the same number of games. I'm not that worried about Boston passing us in the standings; they're a pretty inconsistent team. However, I don't want Jersey to be 4 points ahead with 3 games to go. The Rangers can get that fourth spot and first round home ice. Therefore, I'm hoping for a B's regulation win.

Flyers @ Penguins: While it's hard for me to root for Crosby & Friends, a win by Philthy would put them in a tie with us in the standings. However, Pitt has pretty much wrapped up the division, so giving them more points doesn't really matter. Here's to hoping Malkin has a big night.

Even though the outcomes of these games are important, the most important thing is for the Rangers to pound the Isles tomorrow and Friday. Their destiny lies in their own hands.

Captain Clutch Does It Again!

Let me tell you something. I only got to watch the last 20 minutes of this game. The Rangers looked a bit sloppy and gave up a bad tying goal with half a period to go. But they played on. They survived the Pittsburgh onslaught with less than a minute to go in the period. Lundqvist stayed sharp and denied the likes of Hossa and Malkin. Actually, the King was sharp the whole game from what I saw from the highlight reel, even if he didn't face many shots.

The overtime had me worried. The Pens are a dangerous club when you give them space, which 4-on-4 hockey always creates. But the Rangers responded with good rushes, and a strong play by Jagr drew a penalty. I thought, "Another power play? We couldn't score on the power play if we were Sean Avery in a dirty Manhattan motel." But a 4-on-3 creates big openings on the ice. They pissed away their first few chances, but when it came time to get shit going, they put the puck to the net, and who else but Chris Drury drove it home.

This win was more important than it may seem. It was another huge goal by Drury, who had been a bit cold lately. It catapulted us into a tie with the Devils for 4th place. More importantly, it got us out of the logjam tie for 6th. A loss tonight would have really put us behind the 8 ball with 3 games to go. 9th place was beginning to creep up on us a bit. But these guys delivered when it was important, and that's what excited me the most. Well, maybe getting to celebrate the OT winner while sitting next to my Penguins-loving father pumped me up the most. In any case, this was a great win. Now if only they could learn to do it in regulation....

A quick sidenote I forgot to mention yesterday. How fucking awesome is the music in The Igloo? I've never heard an arena play "Raining Blood" by Slayer and "Sweating Bullets" by Megadeth in the same death. Come to think of it, when's the last time we heard Slayer or 'Deth in the Garden? Probably the same game where we didn't hear shit by Creed or My Chemical Romance.

Pens Home-and-Home Part 2: Back at MSG

Tonight wraps up both the home-and-home and season series with the Pittsburgh Penguins, who took a 3-1 decision yesterday afternoon in the Igloo. Tonight's game can be seen at 7pm on Versus. Unfortunately, I'm working tonight and will only be able to see the last half hour of the game. I'm a bit disappointed that I'll have to miss another garbage broadcast by Gary Bettman's favorite television network that 3 people in this entire country can actually see. I hope for everyone's sake that Joe Beninati isn't calling this game. That guy does nothing but fondle the balls of Crosby, Ovechkin, and the Buffalo Sabres. Not to mention his over-usage of hockey cliches is just brutal.

If the Rangers want to split the home-and-home, the big thing they have to avoid the sin bin. While the officiating was sub-par yesterday, they have to do their best to stay disciplined throughout the game. Too many times did a Blueshirt penalty kill their momentum yesterday. Hopefully, tonight's zebra twosome won't be so liberal with their whistles.

A regulation loss tonight would put the Rangers in a very unwanted situation. It would make a 3-way tie for 6th, with us, Boston, and Philly all having a 40-28-11 record. The tiebreaker would put Boston in 6th, the Rangers in 7th, and Philly in 8th. A win tonight -- be it in regulation or extra time -- is essential. No excuses. If these guys are smart offensively and go to the net, they can get goals and win. It's time to give the Ice Chickens a reason to not want to see us in the playoffs.

Let's Go Rangers!

Sean Avery: Ranger, Agitator, Victim of Practical Joke

Friends, it seems that this writer made an unfortunate mistake in a previous entry. I quickly assumed that our star left wing Sean Avery was guilty of partaking in the services of a Manhattan prostitute without seeing any actual evidence. However, according to an article in Newsday, the hooker in question said she never bumped uglies with #16.

So, Sean, this is my public apology to you. I know that I may have used this unfortunate situation to jumpstart my newborn blog and to get a good laugh, but I still really respect you. Your loud mouth is really getting on the nerves of your opponents, and I'm sure Marc-Andre Fleury is worried that tomorrow one of your wristshots might actually come within three feet of the net.

This whole situation has made left me feeling terrible, like Kent Brockman did after preemptively proclaiming his allegiance to our new insect overlords in Deep Space Homer.


Of course, something like this won't go unnoticed in opposing arenas around the league. While I'm sure that some classless fans across the Hudson will jeer at Avery for this mini-scandal, we can just remember that while Sean is doing it with Elisha Cuthbert and one of those Olsen twins (hopefully the non-anorexic one), a certain French Canadian goalie is doing it with his sister-in-law.

Don't Worry, Guys, This Game Wasn't THAT Important!

Watching today's matinee reminded me of a few things I've disliked about the Rangers this season:

1. Their seamless transition from a group that can put out a great effort one game and turn into a lazy, nonchalant team the next.
   
2. Their ever-frustrating pattern of continuously outshooting their opponents but still manage to lose by a multi-goal margin.
3. Their power play. After the first goal by Dubinsky, the man-advantage looked as limp-dicked as Hugh Hefner without his Cialis. Once again, too many cute passes, not enough going to the net.

I hope everyone enjoyed the officiating as much as I did today. Don't you love Gary Bettman's new NHL? Guys like Crosby and Ruutu can cross-check people in the back all day long, but GOD FORBID that someone's midsection get tapped by a stick or that anyone dares to touch Sidney Crosfaker's body with their stick. We're a little over a week away from the playoffs; it's time for the zebras to swallow the whistle a bit. Thanks to the tilted officiating, the Rangers couldn't get any momentum going. There were a few blatant penalties (Jagr with what I think is his league-leading 16th hooking call), but honestly, how can Petr Prucha, who is a modest 5'11", 170lbs, merit a roughing call? For God's sake, they should've given the poor Czech a medal for not getting blasted by someone this game. That's two contests in a row!

The loss can't be blamed on shoddy officiating, though. The Rangers failed to get good chances today, and that led to them only scoring one goal in a game that had big implications on their playoff positioning. Given, playing the 'Canes may not be all that bad, but wouldn't a 4 seed be nice? We could have home-ice advantage for once! That hasn't happened since...well let's just say it was in a year that began with "199."

But hey, tomorrow's another day, and it's also a chance to get revenge on the Penguins. We just have to hope that these guys will pull their heads out of their asses and get some offense going.

Pens Home-and-Home Part 1: Entering the Igloo

Today's matinee is the start of a home and home between the Pens and Rangers. The Rangers currently hold a 4-2 series edge over Malkin & Co. Reigning MVP Sidney Crosby is finally back from that ankle boo-boo that kept him sidelined for two months. Also back from injury is deadline acquisition Marian Hossa. I bet the Thrashers are gonna enjoy Pitt's first round pick and #1 prospect when Hossa once again eats it in the playoffs and the Pens are trounced by the second round. Who am I kidding? Waddell will probably trade both of them away for worthless veterans *cough* Tkachuk and Zhitnik *cough*.

Anyway, today's game has immense importance in the standings. A win would put the Rangers alone in 5th place and in a tie for 4th. An OT or shootout loss would put them in a tie for 5th (they have the tiebreaker thanks to Ottawa having played 2 more games). The Rangers definitely need 3 points out of 4 in this home-and-home if they want out of that 6th seed.

Unfortunately, I've gotta DVR this game since I have to be out of town this afternoon. It'll break my heart to fast forward through all of the Heineken robot girl commercials that NBC inevitably shows every Sunday.

Keys to Today's Game:

• Shut down Crosby, Malkin, and Hossa. Duh. Maybe give Sid a nice tap on the ankle with your stick, Sean.
• Speaking of Avery, keep all prostitutes out of the Igloo. If the Rangers win, reward him with a visit from his favorite hooker. If he scores a goal, have Renney pay for it.
• Power play. None of the cute passing shit that the Rangers (I'm looking at you Straka, Jagr, and Rozsival) are guilty of every single game. Shoot from the point, crash the net hoping for rebounds. Conklin and especially Fleury are terrible with rebound control. Take advantage of it.
• Defense, defense, defense. Henrik's been playing very well as of late, but he's been covering up a lot of the team's defensive errors. Not finishing checks in their own zone and bad passes gave the Devils two goals on Thursday. If Lundqvist hadn't been sharp, you can bet your wallet there would've been more.
  

It'll be a tough game today. The Ice Chickens are fighting for the #1 spot in the conference. But the Rangers have kept up with the Penguins all year. It'll be a good'un.

Let's Go Rangers!

Sean Avery: Ranger, Agitator, Lover of Prostitutes

So, according to an article in the NY Daily News, everyone's favorite dickwad Sean Avery's name and cell phone number were found in Manhattan madam Kristin Davis' little black book. Assuming that these allegations are of course true, let's first look at the gal running the show:

Holy crap. I didn't think Avery would be going after your run-of-the-mill, corner of 7th-and-Vine, STD-laden hookers. I thought he might go after the more classy hookers, like the ones in the Emperors Club or even the kind hired by Heidi Fleiss. I guess he couldn't afford them with the crappy $1.9M salary the arbitrator gave him last summer. But hey, don't worry, Sean. Those nasty genital warts you probably contracted from your Maison de L'Amour mistress will be worth it next year when you can afford the grade-A whores 'cause you're making Darcy Tucker money.

So kids, the moral of the story is: money can buy love. Hot supermodel and actress girlfriends will come and go, but there will always be a dirty hooker there to love and care for you.

For $500 an hour, that is.

Wait, They Let People Like Me Write on the Internet? (Inaugural Post)

Welcome Ranger fans, hockey fans, and people who mistakenly came here whilst looking for foot fetish pornography! I'm Dr. D,and this is my new blog. What I want this blog to become is a fresh and humorous look at everyone's (least) favorite team, the New York Rangers, and the laughingstock...erm, I mean, spectacle, that is the NHL. Hopefully you'll like what I've got going here. If not, you're probably just an uppity Devils fan. Just kidding -- I know personally both of the Devs' fans and they're really good sports. Anyway, I hope to see you back here once I put up actual content and not just this page-filling crap.

Let's Go Rangers!